How Strong Is
Relationships are important, and you want to get it right.
Yet, knowing how well your relationship is actually going, can be surprisingly tough. Relationship science can help. Using what research knows about healthy relationships*, I created these 15 simple questions to help you get a sense of how your relationship is doing.
* If you want to read some of the original science, I've provided links within the questions.
As quickly as possible, answer each question truthfully with a simple yes or no:
2) Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?
4) When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?
5) Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?
6) Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?
7) Do you and your partner think more in terms of “we” and “us,” rather than “you” and “I”?
8) Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?
10) Do your close friends, as well as your partner’s, think you have a relationship that will stand the test of time?
13) Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires, and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?
14) Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?
15) Are you and your partner sexually compatible?
While you may really want a score (e.g., a partner with at least a 12 out of 15 is a “keeper”), that isn’t really the goal. Rather, these questions are meant to be a self-guided tour through what relationship science knows about strong relationships. In other words, the best answer for every question is a quick, certain, and unqualified “yes.” If any question gave you pause or leads to a clear “no,” that’s an area that warrants attention and improvement.
If you want to learn more about these questions, please check out my article on Psychology Today “15 Questions to Help Decide if a Relationship Has a Future”
To learn more about strong relationships, check out my new book: Stronger Than You Think
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